Sometimes fate has a certain way of taking care of things that we obsess over; in my case, entry into the Western States Endurance Run. The 2015 lottery took place yesterday and my name was not one of the lucky few drawn from the hopper. While this was a mild disappointment - even though 2015 would not have been a good year for me to run States, I still held out a little hope - it has caused me to take a look again at my priorities and why I run.

After suffering a bit of a mild sprain while on the trail yesterday, I was reminded what a fine line we walk out there and how easily and quickly this sport that I love could be taken from me. It is causing me to wonder whether I want events that I may choose to enter next year will be a means to an end (i.e., a Western States qualifier, Hard Rock 100 qualifier, Boston Marathon qualifier, etc.) or whether I will pursue events for the sheer excitement of the event itself and the enjoyment of scaling THAT mountain, rather than in anticipating the climb of a subsequent mountain.

I don't have an answer to this question yet but it calls to mind my previous reflections on presence, purpose, and staying in the moment. The fact is that I am a trail runner because I enjoy participating in amazing events in spectacular landscapes that are completely foreign to my day-to-day life. Trail running takes me far outside my comfort zones and into remote places (on so many levels), and this is why I continue to press on. I consider myself extremely fortunate that I have the physical ability and mental discipline to participate in these events. 

Whether I ever get a chance to run from Auburn to Squaw, or race through the San Juan Mountains that I have come to love so much, the fact is that running makes me happy. Being in nature brings my heart peace. I love the trail running community. So should fate smile on me someday down the road I will be grateful for it; but I won't make that the defining criteria for my schedule going forward.