Since I have become indoctrinated in the culture of ultrarunning, I have heard a phrase bandied about that has given me pause. The phrase in question is "living authentically" - a concept which, at its core, basically means making choices in our everyday lives that reflect our "true" selves rather than doing things that are intended to satisfy some external end - impressing others, living up to another's expectations, etc. It is a far-reaching concept and one that I have been trying to incorporate into my own life for a while now; however, it has only been recently that I have come to discover a more complete, well-defined portrait of what this this idea actually represents. 

What is living authentically? Well when one searches the almighty Google, they are quick to discover a great multitude of psychoanalysis, bullet lists, and various other sites and blogs that offer a wide variety of answers to this question. They cut across the social spectrum and include the deeply religious, the minimalist, the educator, those conscious of race (and the place that the history of their race plays in their daily lives), the outdoorsman, and on and on. There are as many ways to live authentically as there are people on this planet and reading about some of these experiences (for those who choose to share) is very enlightening.

When I apply the question to myself, am I living authentically - that is, according to my core beliefs? I think in some areas yes, but in others no. I still have a lot of work to do on my part - don't we all? - but in asking the question I have discovered a number of ways in which I am NOT living according to the principles that I like to think are important to me. There are some obvious limits to the extent to which I can take this (the likelihood of me quitting my job and becoming a mountain dwelling, ultrarunning, organic gardener who plays various musical instruments, speaks several languages, and is a gourmet chef who travels the world is pretty small) but I think that authentic living can and should be a part of our lives as they are. 

What this means to me is that the direction of my life is far from set. It's both an exciting and somewhat disconcerting idea - while I am certainly an optimist, I have to wonder what if I am not able to bring about the positive changes in my life that bring me closer to these beliefs? What if I allow myself to continue to be driven by forces external to those that I would assign the highest importance? Can I allow myself to let go of the past and be present in the moment?

At the risk of sounding like a Steven Covey disciple, these things are important and require daily attention. I may not get there quickly, if ever, on some of my more ambitious objectives. But I can start the journey and see where it leads me. 

Hike to Isinlivi by Alex Vermeer

One step at a time.